The Gift of Dignity
One of the most difficult things I’ve experienced as an adult is the realization that my parents are mortal. My eyes were opened a few years ago when my mother suffered a terrible heart attack. Not recognizing the early signs of heart disease, mom concluded that she felt just fine because she couldn’t expect to feel 21 when she was 67. However, the day came that mother decided she might need to seek some medical advice (she didn’t have a doctor by the way). Having a high standard of hygiene and personal appearance mom took a bath, shaved her legs, dried and curled her hair, put on some makeup, then did her finger and toe nails with bright red polish. A few hours later dad came home for lunch and found her sitting quietly in her chair, all fixed up and lovely but out of breath, gray and dying.
The next hours brought life as I knew it to a grinding halt and humbled me with a lesson in how quickly life goes from predictable to unbelievable. Mom had emergency bypass. She met several medical obstacles and her survival is a miracle. My three siblings and I were scattered out across state lines and many miles attending to our lives and those that depend on us but we stopped and turned toward home. As we gathered the Lord placed His hand over us and gave us comfort and safety as well as wonderful support groups to help us keep our lives and families going.
During the most frightening moments of my life I saw the absolute best that God had to give through community and fellowship. A group of people from my uncle’s church in Texas were passing through Arkansas and went a few miles out of their way to come and comfort us. Our church families, a very diverse group, never left us lonely. Extended family and friends stood vigil and held us up when our strength was spent. Even today in these words I am so very grateful. God is good.
The point of this story though is this: My dad became the ultimate super hero. He never left my mom except to bathe, eat and take care of their personal business that couldn’t be done by phone. As we waited for news from the doctors dad assured us “He was the daddy and he wasn’t abdicating anytime in the near future, we’re going to be okay.” He also said as he gazed at mom’s still form hooked to wires and tubes, “She’s just as beautiful today as she was the day she became my wife.” Preserving her dignity became his supreme objective. As mom healed and came back to us he assumed some duties that others were expected, even paid to do. Why? Because they were intimate things and he didn’t want her embarrassed. He protected her self-respect at all cost and constantly reminded her that she would forever be his precious bride.
Love does not dishonor others, it always protects, hopes and perseveres. Love never fails. Paraphrased from I Corinthians 13:5, 7 and 8.
Love establishes and maintains dignity. It is a gift worth giving and receiving. Mom and dad, thanks for everything!
Love,
Gretchen