Today I give you the words of my little sister Gwen Lane. She is the mother of six, three beautiful young women and their handsome husbands. We share a common passion for teaching and love to talk shop, whether we laugh till we cry or cry till we are giggling like little girls. I look back across the years and thank God that we are not who we once were, but are marvelous works of Grace. Enjoy her inspiring thoughts of perseverance and faith.
I Saw God Today A Half Marathon Personal Testimony April 27, 2019
Several months ago, I started on a journey. At first, this journey did not seem that big of a deal. I had already done two half marathons with my walking buddy, Nona Richey. I had revelled in my personal accomplishments and labeled myself a strong woman because of my ability to endure and overcome obstacles. I was proud. I was also becoming more and more convicted of “idols” I was setting up in my life. God was showing me that if I was going to have any kind of influence in the lives of other people, some things needed to change. So along with my physical training, I began some serious self examination of what I was putting on the high places.
So my training began and soon the Holy Spirit put the thought in my heart and mind that I needed to do this on my own, without my security blanket of Nona that I had become so comfortable with. I would embark on long training walks on my own. I had to fill the time with something other than conversation. God brought me in to conversation with him. I learned to use this time as a time of prayer and worship. My theme verse became Habakkuk 1:5, “ Look among the nations and see; wonder and be astounded. For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told.” I could not have ever imagined what the Holy Spirit would teach me on this journey.
In the beginning, I believed that God would heal me of my physical infirmities through this journey. I would learn to put aside my food addictions and my lazy tendencies to lose the weight that doctors have told me I needed to lose in order to free myself of the chronic pain that held me captive. I was wrong. Physical healing has not occured, though I did wake up this morning without the usual pain. In fact, the weeks leading up to the race, I was plagued with the pain growing more intense and changing in nature. After each long training session, my body would rebel as if it were begging me to stop. In these darkest times, the Holy Spirit would whisper the words, “Believe” and “Trust”. So I trudged on. Going in to the race, I was still not sure what my lesson would be. My plan was to do what I had been doing, which was to pass the time in prayer and worship. Which I did, however, let me just tell you. God delivers every single time. He is faithful and true. I did not achieve a new PR today, which I thought might be possible early on. In fact, I struggled. But God showed up and showed out. I saw God today.
I saw God in the relentless love and devotion of my husband. He was there to offer encouragement and fruit snacks. He supported me even though he had spent months watching me struggle and cry out in pain and mental anguish. I saw God in the rain that fell at just the right time when loneliness threatened to take control of my mind. Gentle drops of coolness to remind me that he was walking with me. As I walked, I prayed. When the intense pain of calf cramps began about mile 9, I was gently reminded of two precious little girls that I know who are suffering the agony of cancer and the resulting treatments. They suffer more than just leg cramps and their suffering will not end in three and a half hours. I prayed for their complete healing. I prayed for Christian sisters who are suffering the pain of despair and have lost their hope and joy. I prayed for coworkers who are suffering from fear and uncertainty.
I saw God in the faces of the volunteers who were there to encourage me to “keep going” and “you got this”. I saw God in the police officer who saw the pain on my face and quickly offered to help relieve the pain and then a bicycle volunteer who appeared and offered a banana. He rode along with me for a bit just to make sure I was going to make it. I saw God in my youngest daughter who had already run the entire race but came back to make sure I got up the most difficult part of the course. Finally, I saw God in the faces of the rest of my family who had been patiently waiting at the finish line to celebrate with me and make sure I was ok.
So, my lesson through all of this………………………………………
It is not about me. It is not about my pride and self-reliance. It is not about being a strong woman. It is not about accomplishments and personal records. It is about putting God and God alone on the high places. He wants to be “the Only” in your life. The only way we can have a real influence in our world is to let our lives reveal the truth, strength, power, and glory of the One True God. A God that pursues and loves relentlessly. A God that does not leave you lonely or without comfort or relief. A God that if the mountain is not to be moved will climb it with you hand in hand. A God that sent his only Son to suffer and die. A God that declared in the resurrection of Jesus that pain, suffering and death has been defeated.
O Lord, let my life reveal that there is only One.