This is the complete, unauthorized accounting of my daughters’ response to perfect parenting. I suspect neither one of them reads my blog, which frees me to be totally biased and opinionated about things I could just leave alone, but won’t.
I gave birth to two exceptionally intelligent, strong and beautiful daughters. From the moment they first drew breath I knew they were just what the world had been waiting for. Naturally, I made plans, followed by plans for the plans. My vicarious dreams had no boundaries. Lucky for them, I had it all under control.
AND THEN……
Somewhere between the terrible twos and Kindergarten they demonstrated in action and deed, they were not in accord with my agenda. Thing 1 had no interest in looking like a catalogue mannequin every time she stepped out of the front door. Thing 2 had no desire to engage in the many perfect playdates I choreographed. They each had a free will and they weren’t afraid to use it.
As Things 1 and 2 grew and matured I began to see the indelible blend of DNA on their personalities. SCARY!! Amongst all their talent and grace, they were a lot like their father and I. I did everything in my power to stop this generational spiral. They were meant to be greater than us, not like us!
AND THEN……
My children became ordinary. Thing 1 spends hours in the dirt. She hated school, mornings, clothes that touched her funny and most anything else I consider moderately civilized. Thing 2 loves education, logic, order and the arts, but she can be annoying with her perfectionism. Still they had great potential to make their mother and father look like a really great parents if they would just cooperate!
AND THEN……
One sleepless night my adolescent child and her younger sister cried the tears of hopelessness. They discovered vicious people take the lives of innocents and it’s hard to discern between friend or foe. Terrified, they wanted all of us to stay close to home and create a cloistered world of surety and safety.
AND THEN…….
I knew I had to build faith, not walls, not success, not grandeur, just a simple faith in the One that created them, loves them most and knows best.
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Lamentations 3:22-23
These children of mine, so much like me, struggling with anxiety and depression, wondering if all their dreams will come true or whether life is vain, just as I did and still do, need only Jesus. I have great confidence that the God who found me in my despair will always be available to them in the same comforting and sustaining way and they will figure it out because….they really are exceptional in every way! And your children are too.
AND THEN…….
I look upon my girls and say, “Thank you!” followed with, “What were You thinking?” because they are brave, bold, and adventurous and I sometimes wish I had built those walls…….but not really.
Love,
Gretchen