Today’s guest author gave me a most valuable gift, straight talk, when we were very young. Her honesty and faith, perseverance and resilience have been my life’s greatest inspiration. I hope you enjoy this excerpt from the exceptional life of Gayle Paladino, my sister, my friend.
Miracles on DARK DAYS
I’d like to start by listing a few of the many blessings God has generously showered on me at this point in my life. I have two amazing sons who are healthy, and performing beautifully at the things that are expected from young men of their ages. I have a wonderful job that is as secure as can be expected in today’s corporate climate. I live in a lovely home that I’ve been able to furnish in such a way that it is the outward expression of my heart and soul. I have a wonderful man in my life who loves me, challenges my intellect, and encourages me to be the best me possible. AND, I am surrounded by a truly amazing group of family and friends who accept me for who I am and who I strive to be. I praise my gentle, caring Father in Heaven for these gifts…and for the gift of the journey that brought me here. This story is an excerpt from that journey. My sons and I refer to this time in my life as “The DARK DAYS”.
Let me set the stage. Picture a happy, young, stay-at-home mom living in a brand new house in an affluent, suburban neighborhood. There are two luxurious vehicles parked in the garage, a large swimming pool in the back yard, and a strong man going to work each day to provide these luxuries, including all the earthly security you can imagine.
I had somehow managed to “arrive” in this American dream. I’ll spare you the ugly details, but in the space of three years the man (and his money) was gone, the remaining luxury car in the garage was badly in need of expensive repair, the pool had turned green due to the neglect that comes when there is no money to purchase the expensive chemicals needed to keep it pure, the stay-at-home mom has been back to work and then laid-off, and one child has been diagnosed with ADHD and a major depressive disorder. To say I lost my mind is a mild understatement. I simply did not know how to cope. I couldn’t look my neighbors in the eye. I was angry with God and I could’t pray. I no longer felt connected to people that I had considered to be my closest friends. Most disturbing of all was that I was failing miserably at hiding my crumbling mental state and our dire financial circumstances from my children. On top of all this, it was MARCH.
I’m sure you’re wondering what’s so awful about March. Well, my two precious sons have birthdays in March just one week apart. Until this point in their lives, they had known birthdays to be a time of celebrations, fun with friends, and generous gift giving. I had examined my bank account, and knew that I could choose to give my boys a little taste of the birthdays to which they had been accustomed, or I could keep the electricity and gas (which we needed for cooking and warm baths) from being disconnected. So I made the choice that only an insane person would make. I said, “To heck with the electricity and gas”…I’m going to see that my boys have the birthday celebrations they would expect, and that I felt they deserved. I didn’t even feel guilty. I believe that’s the moment I may have fully boarded the “crazy train” and begged the conductor to pull out of the station.
And then, the miracle happened! Queue the singing angels…seriously. The very next day, a mysterious envelop appeared in my mailbox. There was no return address, and no stamp. Just an envelop with my name. Inside was a little pile of cash that amounted to the exact amount of money I had just spent to see that my boys could have birthday celebrations. Not more, and not less…the exact amount. Nobody but God knew what I had done. In His mercy, He had not abandoned me to my insanity. Instead, He heard my silent groans of misery, and allowed my selfish and irresponsible impulse to go unpunished. He spared me the horror of having to entertain my children through evenings with no lights and cold baths. Through one of His earthly angels, He cradled me in His arms and said “I’ve got you covered”.
There were many other miracles, both large and small, that I experienced during The DARK DAYS, but this one stands out. I learned a valuable lesson, and I began to see life awash with generosity and mercy. Yes, I live with the reality that my current situation is fragile, as is everyone’s. But I have a confidence that is based in fact that no matter what the happens, God will cradle me into His enormous body (that’s you and me folks) and say “Go for it, Sweetheart, I’ve got you covered”.
Psalm 6The Message (MSG)
A David Psalm
6 1-2 Please, God, no more yelling,
no more trips to the woodshed.
Treat me nice for a change;
I’m so starved for affection.
2-3
Can’t you see I’m black-and-blue,
beat up badly in bones and soul?
God, how long will it take
for you to let up?
4-5
Break in, God, and break up this fight;
if you love me at all, get me out of here.
I’m no good to you dead, am I?
I can’t sing in your choir if I’m buried in some tomb!
6-7
I’m tired of all this—so tired. My bed
has been floating forty days and nights
On the flood of my tears.
My mattress is soaked, soggy with tears.
The sockets of my eyes are black holes;
nearly blind, I squint and grope.
8-9
Get out of here, you Devil’s crew:
at last God has heard my sobs.
My requests have all been granted,
my prayers are answered.
10
Cowards, my enemies disappear.
Disgraced, they turn tail and run.
