In the fall of my freshman year of college I had a summary over assigned reading due every Monday at 5:00 p.m. Each week I began writing at 4:00 p.m., then rushed across campus to turn in my haphazardly completed paper. But one autumn afternoon everything didn’t go as planned so it was 5 minutes after 5 when I arrived in the religion department just as Dr. Hahn was locking his door. I smiled, handed him my work and said, “Glad I caught you.” Without saying a word he looked at his watch, tore my paper in two, handed the halves back to me, said, “Five o’clock means five o’clock,” and walked away. It stung badly, but I never turned anything in late again! I regret that I had to be taught to the point of offensiveness.
Years later, Keith and I bought a gorgeous red Camaro. The payment was high, the insurance steep, but it was a beauty. We were way too hip for a minivan even though we had an infant. It turned out, the car’s cost went way beyond dollars. Its two doors were heavy objects that would sag overtime if I used them to hoist me or a child’s carrier in and out of the back seat. I endured rainy days with water dripping down my back as I buckled my baby in behind the cool low riding bucket seats. Each time I walked through gravel or mud I worried about the wear and tear on the vehicle’s interior, and we won’t even discuss the crisis of an upside down bottle as I went scrambling to catch it before milk or formula soaked into the upholstery. I made sixty payments and resented most of them. When we sold it, I was thrilled to see it go. To this day I won’t buy boxed macaroni because I associate it with this season of life. I regret the moments of true goodness I missed at the expense of lookin’ good going down the road.
We have a friend that has excelled tremendously as a dirt track racer, but long before we knew him, he had aspirations of racing on asphalt and knows that with his ability and connections he would have made the big league. It didn’t happen because, as a young man he began drinking and when he should have been heading toward his potential, an addiction had other ideas. He has often commented, “I would have been there if I hadn’t begun to drink.” He has regrets and he wants you to know, he was wrong.
I have heard people say, “I refuse to look back in sorrow.” I am not one of them. I made devastating, life-altering mistakes that cost me far more than my resources could accommodate. That’s where Grace and Mercy became my miracle. But as I turn both directions and reflect, I see the hope I had, and know I have hope for tomorrow too.
Returning or recovering from profound disappointment in one’s self or another has a simple start. Say no and mean it. For some, “No,” is the starting point of consideration or negotiation. It is not. It is the end. When you say it, expect people to heed and when it is said to you, cease and desist. Think how different your life would be if this simple rule had been the norm. “No, I won’t, it’s not right and it won’t get me where I want to go.” It’s a the most important choice you will ever make and the most important lesson you will ever teach.
For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled upright and Godly lives in this present age.
Titus 2:11-12
Happy Summer Time,
Gretchen
